Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Five of 40k's Goofiest Rules

I have a problem. I get bored and I don’t have other hobbies, I end up reading a lot about 40k. And in my readings/musings/travels, I’ve found a lot of funny things.

This is not a list of broken rules, worst rules, are anything important really. This is a list of the top 5 things I found that made me laugh.

1. Dreadnoughts with High Aspirations

So, Mortis dreadnoughts have a rule that lets them have Skyfire and Interceptor if they don’t move. Did you know it’s not a choice?

That’s right, just like Ricky Bobby, if a mortis dreadnought is standing still it has no idea what to do with its hands. If he doesn’t move or is immobilized he’s stuck with Skyfire and Interceptor. (Ed- Fortunately, they fixed this for the Doredo... Dorito... whatever)

2. Heavy Reading Chainswords
Would you like to play a game? Its part choose your own adventure and part where’s Waldo… if Waldo was a chainsword on a polearm…….

In the 7th edition core rulebook there's the section for melee weapons. And in it is the subsection for Chainswords. All the usual suspects are present, chainswords and eviscerators, but there is another. The Heavy Chainsword. This is what the game begins.

Can you tell me anybody who has or can take one?........ I’ll wait.

For the longest time this was a weapon that haunted me. There was no one, it was some fabled unicorn weapon of myth (A really crappy unimportant myth). And then I found it, I learned it existed in the most unlikely of places, and at last I could rest...

(You have to highlight the text that follows for the answer)
And his name is Major Markus Durra. A foot note character in Imperial Armour 4 2nd edition that doesn’t have a model.
P.S. Imperial Armour 4 2nd Edition is one of the best funny fluff books to read. Its centered around an inquisitor that no likes, unknowingly submitted to a science experiment by his boss.

3. Hotshot Lasguns are only mildly spicy
If someone sad they were going to shoot 5+ Hotshot anything at you in 40k, you’d be like well maybe he’ll kill some of his own guys while doing it.

If they were Hotshot lasguns you’d be wrong, because they don’t get that hot……. 

Hot enough to bring the Ladies

4. WraithHawk

I’ve owned my Wraithseer for a while now, so long that he has had 3 different rules changes across various forms of media. And the newest one did something real funny, I didn’t catch it at first.

I remember having double check to see if he still had spirit mark, only to find that no he didn’t. But instead had Independent character…… This is the post I made back in 2015 when I realized this was a thing.

Sadly, the recent GW FAQs took away that rule meaning anything on Wraithseers. Alas IC MCs are no more...

5. Prairie dogging Drones

Again, this is something the new GW FAQs made no longer real. But for a little while Tau Drones had the unique privilege of being one of the few units that I could think of that could Jink and Go to Ground.

The Tau Drone Network formation drones gain the USR Jink and being the scaredy cats they are, they could still go to ground. So, they could literally became deadly roombas. Prairie Dogs that would pop up and shoot you and then duck back down.